Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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