so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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