sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
