i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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