just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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