They should really pass out barf bags in church
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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