seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
