Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Randomize
