if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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