so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
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my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
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tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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