I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
