I want to have your abortion
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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