When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize