Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize