You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
