Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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