Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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