you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
