I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
