Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think people are normalizing furries
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
