Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
