So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
