my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize