My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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