ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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