i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
