He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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