DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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