just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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