definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and she was petting her beer can
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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