On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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