good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
