Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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