He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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