the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
