Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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