My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
