If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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