i already hear my dad disowning me
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
please don't ironically join a cult
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