i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
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I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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