I think my vagina is haunted
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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