batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
