So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize