I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
