I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
