Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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