Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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