Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
