she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
