no, he came in my armpit
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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