Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
