walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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