So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
