Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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