feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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