Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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