please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
