): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
