How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize