i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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